10 Things I've Done That You Probably Haven't.
As she said, the key to this one is to be very specific. :-)
1. Had blood taken by my own mother
When I first got sick, it was impossible to get to my veins. The first time I was in the hospital it took them 11 tries to get my IV going. So one day, at CPOC (which is basically an ER for kids), the nurse just said 'you do it' to my mum. She got it on the first try because my mum is awesome. And a nurse and fully qualified to take blood, by the way. She didn't do it on a whim. ;-)
2. Played a spider on stage
I played Charlotte in Charlotte's Web in Grade 7 for the school play. It was awesome. I had a very cool costume and for the rest of the year, all the little kids would go 'hi Charlotte!' in the halls.
3. Been upstaged by a canoe
At my elementary school, we had a vice principle who had this 'V.I.E.W project' thing going. It was to address racism, sexism, isms of all sorts. I have no problem with this, I think it's a great idea. Except when you are taking hours out everyday to talk about it and failing to teach math and science as a result. Plus, one time they asked if anyone knew what a 'Chink' was. No one did. So they proceeded to tell us what a Chink was so they could teach us not to use the word. Sense? Not a lot. Anyway, VP had this big giant project where we built a canoe. I don't know what the significance of it was, but it was something about coming together and...canoe building? I didn't like it, it was boring and it was mandatory that you went to work on it. It went on for years and it was finally finished...the same time as Charlotte's Web was being put on for the Christmas Open house. The newspaper came to cover it and the next day there was this giant picture of the canoe in the paper and not one mention of our play. Plus, the programs they handed out had a picture of a canoe on the front and information about it, as a sort of afterthought, 'oh, here's who's in the cast'. Man it pissed me off. The icing on the cake was I was asked by VP later in the week to do an interview about said canoe for the news. I refused on the principle that I HATED THAT CANOE!
4. Changed dance costumes in the back of a moving van
I danced competitively for a year in Grade 6 and we were sponsored by Bell. The only thing they asked for in return was for us to dance at their end of the year company picnic. The park they chose for it had a (crappy) stage, but nowhere to change so they arranged for us to change in the back of a moving van, where the furniture would normally be. The front was only covered by a blue tarp, which blew around and it was in the middle of July and HOT. Let me tell you, you will never feel more ridiculous than when you're dressed in a fur-trimmed velvet cape and headband, dancing to The Skater's Waltz and pretending it's snowing in the middle of July.
5. Fainted at an opportune moment
After I had my gallbladder out when I was 14, I got hepatitis and bile dumping syndrome and general yuckiness that have plagued me since. I had my gallbladder out at the beginning of the summer and by the end, I was having weird heart racing attacks and was extremely dehydrated and prone to getting very light-headed. We held on until the end of the summer for my post-op check-in and the doctor basically said 'well, isn't that unfortunate?' I had been lying on the examination table and I sat up to go, only to pass out. The doctor went 'oh, maybe we better admit you' and I was in the hospital for a week to get rehydrated and checked out. So, if I hadn't fainted, I would have been much sicker.
6. Been bathed in bleach
When I was three, we were going to go to Calgary to visit my Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Marilyn. I contracted chickenpox near the time we were supposed to go and you aren't allowed to fly if you are contagious. So my surrogate grandmother person, Joan-the-All-Knowing, told my mum to bath me in bleach. Not all bleach, of course, but to put a little in the bath. The spots dried up right away and I was allowed to go on the plane.
7. Complete two grade levels of French simultaneously
I love French. I don't know why, but I just adore it. I like all foreign languages, but French and I have a bond. My mum's side is French-Canadian, so perhaps in it's in my blood. I missed my Grade Nine year due to illness (see 5 above, which happened the first week of my high school career). So by the time I came back part time in Grade 10, I was behind by a bunch of credits. They let me skip Grade 9 French and jump right into Grade 10 French, which happened to be a 10/11 split. So, my French teacher, the awesome Mme. Blackett, suggested I do both levels of French at the same time to help me catch up. I wrote two exams at the end of the year and had to keep a journal in French over the summer and got two credits at the end of it.
8. Been the only non-immersion student in a French immersion class
By Grade 12 French, I was the only person still taking it who hadn't been a French immersion student. So, they stuck me in with the immersion kids. It was pretty much okay, aside from their clearly having more experience speaking French than me. The only thing that didn't follow the immersion curriculum for me was the roman we had to read at the end of the year. I couldn't keep up with the immersion one, so I read the regular one which was the worst detective novel I have ever read. You know whodunit? The obvious person from the start of the novel, which never had any other suspects but him. The essay I had to write on it was how it was stereotypically a detective novel. Bit hard.
9. Had to 'fire' an actor in a high school play for missing practice due to being arrested
Zoë, one of my best friends in high school, David (Amalie's brother, who's my age) and I wrote a parody/update of Macbeth for Grade 10 English. We were able to convince the drama club (of which we were a part and Ama ran) to perform it for our class. We didn't have quite enough people to do it, so we asked a boy from our class, Shawn, to play Macduff. Shawn had done a lot of theatre and seemed a good choice. He played the part fine, as I recall, for the show we did for our class. We decided to do another production at the end of the year for the school and our parents. Shawn was always a bit hard to control (especially since I was directing and we had absolutely no help from any adults, it's hard to get people your own age to listen to you). He was hyper and silly and all over the place and missed practiced or fooled around in them. We were down to the wire and couldn't get time to rehearse at school, so I arranged a rehearsal at my place one weekend. He never showed up and he didn't call and we were all sick of trying to deal with him at that point. Zoë suggested we ask her older sister's boyfriend, Josh, to take over the role. He agreed (despite going to another high school and having never read the script or met many of us), learned the part almost overnight and was extremely kickass. On the following Monday, Shawn apologized for not coming to the rehearsal, but he'd been arrested. I told him he'd been replaced and he went 'whatever' and walked away, obviously not caring at all. The show went on to much acclaim and was the highlight of my high school career as well as the source of endless numbers of inside jokes between my friends and I.
10. Had an Alice in Wonderland tea party
Also in Grade 10 (which was clearly a fairly banner year for me), Ama and I thought it would be cool to have a Alice in Wonderland tea party for a birthday. Zoë's birthday was coming up and, I know none of you have ever met Zoë and she's impossible to describe, but it was perfect for her. She's the kind of girl who once came to school wearing a bright neon orange t-shirt over a thick dark blue-black sweater with holes in the wrist where her thumbs stuck out, a striped, badly knit scarf that hung down to her knees, striped leggings and black hiking boots and not only looked perfectly natural in it, but gorgeous. Oh and her hair was lime green at that point too, as I recall. She's Zoë. So, she loved the idea and we had it at my house. We all dressed up as Wonderland characters. Zoë was Alice, of course, and I was the Queen of Hearts. Amalie was a Jabberwock, we had a Hatter and a Mouse and a Cheshire Cat and I think a White Rabbit. We had tea in all these fancy cups inherited from my Grandmother and then played croquet outside. With a flamingo. A plastic one that you put on your lawn. It was very, very cool.