The Writer They Call Tay (awanderingbard) wrote,
The Writer They Call Tay

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Letters to the inanimate

Dear Spam inbox,
Hello! How are you? Functioning away, I see. I'd just like to make you aware of a few things. One: I don't live in the UK. I have never lived in the UK. In fact, I don't even know anyone who lives in the UK. Therefore, the chances of me winning the UK lottery, while not impossible, are highly unlikely, let alone winning it several times a week.

Two: here's a message to pass on to all dying people: I'm sorry you're dying. I'm very sorry that your family is untrustworthy and you don't want to leave your millions to them. I really don't know what I'd do with your millions, though thanks for offering, random Asian dying person. If you're desperate, might I suggest a nice charity?

Finally, to all doctors, lawyers, and employers of any sort: I don't need a job, thanks. I really don't think I'll be much help to you, having no medical training and never having gone to law school. I'd just like to graduate high school before I take a job with a top surgeon. It's a thing with me.

Glad we could clear that up, Mr. Inbox. I love our working relationship and I didn't want this to get between us. I love you, man. It a completely platonic way of course.

Yours truly,

  • Huzzah: The Final Chapter

    We are all fully vaccinated now! Including my brother and his wife! I mean, we have to wait for it to be in full effect, but we are on our way to…

  • I can see the light

    Hello, folks! Hope you are well. We were able to see my brother and his wife on Father's Day, with the COVID restrictions easing slightly! We did it…

  • Greetings!

    Hello, world! I speak to you as a wise woman of 35 years, and not the immature 34-year-old I was when last we corresponded. As of June 1st, my age is…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened