The Writer They Call Tay (awanderingbard) wrote,
The Writer They Call Tay
awanderingbard

Original: Error, Error

Title: Error, Error
Rating: G
Spoilers/Warnings: None
Summary: Lux is in charge of the Universe. It is a very boring job.
Notes: Original work. It is silly. Written for consci_fan_mo, for the prompt '"+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++" -(Hex) Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett'
Disclaimer: Work is all from my own imagination. Any resemblance to other characters or situations is coincidental.



"+++ Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++"
-(Hex) Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett


“Become a watcher,” they said. “You'll make tons of money,” they said. “You'll retire to a nice little planet and never have to worry about a thing,” they said.

What they didn't say was how mind-numbingly boring it would be. No wonder the pay was so good and the retirement package was so nice—there was absolutely no other reason why anyone would even contemplate doing this job. Certainly not for the love of it. Only the wealth of it.

Lux had been on the job for twelve years. Eight-hour shifts where her only duties were to watch the Computer and not to touch anything unless absolutely necessary.

During those twelve years, she had crocheted 535 blankets and read all 600 volumes of The Complete History of the Universe. Even those last fifty volumes where the author went a bit mad with the boredom of his subject and started making up things like that the dinosaurs were wiped out by the invention of shoelaces, and tomatoes were neither fruit nor vegetable, but offspring of a giant mammal who lived beneath the surface of the earth and controlled the outcome of reality competition shows.

Lux understood how someone could be that bored.

In those twelve years, two exciting things had happened. Once, the Computer had temporarily become sentient due to a mild virus and started to ask her out on dates until she politely reminded it that it was an inanimate object, and it apologized and went back to its normal duties.

Another time, she'd seen a squirrel.

Today was her 3,280th day on the job. She was putting in the ends of blanket number 536 when suddenly the normal view of code scrolling across the screen changed.

“Error,” it said. “Error. Error. Error. Error. Error. I'm serious. Error.”

Without thinking, Lux turned, grabbed the backup disk marked “The Universe: Spare Copy”, ejected the main disk from the drive, shoved the new disk in and typed 'restart' into the keyboard. She hit enter...

The code started scrolling up the screen again. She sat there, hands hovering over the keyboard and eyes darting back and forth, waiting to see if the Universe was still there. Yeah, it appeared it be. She sat back in her chair and selected a new ball of wool to start blanket number 537.

When her shift was over, she went up to her manager and tendered her resignation.

Because she realized that nothing was ever going to happen that would be more exciting than that and, after twelve years of looking after the Universe, it was about damn time she went out and actually saw some of it for herself.
Tags: fandom: none, length: ficlet, rating: g
Subscribe

  • Robins and colouring!

    We have a robin who makes her nest over our backyard porchlight every year. She's done the same this year, and she's been there for several weeks…

  • Icons!

    Been on a icon making kick lately, so if anyone would like some Agent Carter icons, I've got 116 of them from Season Two. EPISODES 1-5…

  • Quick Canon Question + Icons

    Quick question on Agent Carter canon, though more of an opinion than anything else: In Season One, Jarvis says he was 'aide' to a General in…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

  • 4 comments